A great medicine that cures anytime, internal external? no problemo!! ^_^

You know what?
sincerely say
I prefer being a kid
Without any worry and without any problem
The more we step into adulthood
The more the problem the came crashing
The more the things that come haunting for us
Be it with relationship, family or friend
and most importantly with God
we all face the same problem
things may bring us down

I often am
Making so much mistakes in the first place
Where apologizing becomes my norm
What should we do?
I can't provide a concrete answer to that
However
I heard a great rumor that
There's a kind of medicine somewhere in this world

This special medicine can cure any disease and problem
Be it physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually

What is this medicine that I'm trying to tell you all about?
This medicine is always within me and you
Is always there for us to use
To solve our problem whenever we are in pain

This special medicine is non-other than our beloved Jesus

Har? you tell yourself
It's true and it's undeniable
Whenever i face any trouble
I seek for His help
He's always by side
To care and to love me
He's my best friend all in all
He's my guardian
He's my refuge when I'm in trouble

I know that things are said easier than done
Problem does come
I'm currently facing a lot
But with His power by my side
I know who I can refer to when I'm lost
I know my place in this world because of Him
I know that I'm valuable even if no one else love me
I knwo that I'm always love

Because i have Jesus in my heart
My only trust-able friend
My only guardian
My king and my savior

I admit that I am still in a dilemma
I am still struggling to solve problem by myself
But slowly, He let me realize that
He is everything
He will always provide a solution to our problem
We need to trust him
To believe that He will help us
because faith in Jesus Christ
means everything
and that's the only thing we need

Amen

Long Distance Relationship

@@~~ I love this picture~~ Remind me of someone <3

Being in a relationship is hard enough
How about a long distance relationship?
To maintain a long distance relationship is not simple
As time pass by
More and more problems will surface
Trust will become the key to everything now
If there's not enough trust
A relationship might ended up = 0

A relationship happens when two person
(in this case, a male and a female)
who are staying far away from each other
For example east and west Malaysia
Fall in love with each other
Long distance relationship is not a hindrance
For true love comes from the heart
and not from one's appearance
This kind of relationship needs much more trust than an ordinary relationship
Mainly it's because the couple couldn't see each other everyday
This had already cut down couple's mark by 30%

But as I stated above
Distance is not a hindrance
What with the can't-see-you-everyday problem?
What is with the can't-see-you-can't-trust-you?
Of course, going into a relationship requires time
When two individuals started to notice the good in each other
That's when love started to spark
We can't blame one for not putting trust into his/her partner
All human has curiosity
It's just normal not to trust 100%
But this can't be a hindrance either

A long distance relationship is a world full of challenge
Full of curiosity and full of uneasiness
But a long distance relationship is far
And I mean far purer than any kind of relationship
It's a form of true love
It's not easy
But when trust and love are there
Nothing is impossible

I've seen many successful long distance relationship couple myself
And all of them have the same answer
Being with her is everything
I won't suspect her
I decided to trust her
Even if one day this relationship may fail
But I trust her
Am I right friend?
Long distance relationship holds more than this
It's because the both of you can only see each other once in a long time
You will miss your other part everyday
This feeling of missing someone dearly is a common feeling share among
the long distance relationship couples
Because they meet each other once in a while
The couple cherish their partner very much
The feeling of wanting to see him/her
The memory of togetherness that can only be feel once every long while
And the effort both partner share to keep the relationship go
This is the sweetest time a long distance relationship couple feel

Long distance relationship is not impossible
It's just that most people just don't trust this kind of relationship
But let me tell you
Long distance relationship
Will not fail
Instead, the love the shines in this relationship is more powerful than a normal relationship
A little trust
And a little freedom for your partner to do what they want
Can keep the relationship firm
Just don't hold your partner too tight
Give them some space
But at the same time
Limit them from doing certain things
But don't overdo it


A long distance relationship is possible
And I believe in one
And I will continue to believe so
Put in some effort
Entertain your partner
Make him/her laugh
Cheer for him/her
Video call her
Or call her often (beware, don't too often, everyone need their private time, but do call often)
It just requires you to put in some sweat
Work a little harder than a normal couple



In love to
Miss Oink Oink

Think, please think!!!

Things are not always what you think they are

Or what you think they aren’t

Things just happen

You see, often, or most of the time, or always

We only think of a problem from one dimension

We always do

And we never cease to do it

This is when we neglected some important fact

And this will eventually lead to problem

Such as quarrel

I do not deny this

I admit been like this

We as a human

Our first instinct will tell us all the negative stuff about our problem

We often lost ourselves

Fill ourselves with anger

With jealousy, with greed

With hatred

When we do

We hurt

We scold

We misunderstand

We stand on our own ground

We stand for ourselves

What if things weren’t mean to be like that?

What if one’s intention was not to angered you?

What if that person was not what we thing he/she should be?

Then will you plant a wrong accusation on him/her?

Or would you do it without realizing you’re doing it

Take a couple as an example

The girl told the boy that she’s talking to another guy over the phone

The girl trusted her boyfriend

She won’t hide anything from him

She expect her boyfriend to understand

But you know guys

This is when he gets jealous

His jealousy gets to the head of his senses

He’s angry

The quarrel happen

If the boy would just control his emotion a little

Sit down, relax and think carefully for a while

Appreciate his girlfriend for trusting him

Everything won’t happen

It’s time to start thinking from different dimension

This maybe more difficult than we thought

But as time goes by

We’ll get use to it

In this way we can avoid conflict

We will not wrongly accuse others

We can be emotionally balance

Take another example

A friend

At first you are ok with him/her

But you heard how your friend badmouth about him/her

You started to doubt

Whether she/he is such a person

Slowly

You accept the fake fact that she is a person like that

You fail to notice if the person bad mouthing your friend

Have a personal problem with your friend

What if your friend (that bad mouthed) just doesn’t really like your friend?

You want to be notice

You don’t want to be left out

And so you choose to avoid your friend

You’re actually causing more pain to him/her

You’re wrongly taking his/her’s fact

Think

My friend

Think

Please start to think from different angle of dimension

Things may not be the way it is

If your world are only about yourself

Then sorry

You’re just been selfish

Think for others

Think more

Think for your enemy

Think for friend

Think for everyone

Think before you act

Think…

Think…

If only you will think first

You can avoid a lot

And I mean a lot

Of unnecessary clash

Please think

Especially for those who you love

I hurt those I love many time before

Just because I don’t think first before I do anything

If only I think in her shoes

Then every conflict can be avoided

….

I regret

and I urge everyone

to think

from different dimension

think

for everyone

think

for the one you love

The boat had set sail

The boat sail away

From the once calm bay

To the wide broad sea,

anything await

I can never know

How the boat will sail

How long can it sail

But it certainly won’t be a pleasant

and welcoming journey

To the sea

I hold nothing back

A journey begins

For something that had ended

In search of the cure

For a broken heart

I never wanted to leave

The place of my safety

The place where once

Hope was never fade

But I have to leave

For it’s not there for me anymore

I may choose to stay

And endure the suffer left behind

Or I may leave

Bringing a heavier load

Which will eventually become lighter

As time pass by

The boat had set sail

To the sea unknown

In search for happiness

And a new place of safety

It will continue to set sail

No matter how much damage it will have to endure

Together with me

The boat will set sail

Leaving the land of...

love...

2011 @ Felix Tong Jia Wei

Copyright protected

This poem is not designated to anyone

It's just a mere creation

With no deeper meaning in it

I am a sinner

The power of love really had awaken me
From my long slumber of sin
My lord, my Jesus
Sacrifice Himself for me upon that cross
He's discriminate, Hated by His own people
After the church service
I went back to my room and cry
Cry like a baby, cry like I never cry before
Because...
I feel guilty of my sin
I am wrong all this time
I've done so many thing that's wrong
Jesus love me
He don't me to do all those stuff
I sinned!!
Even though I know I'm doing it
I did not put a stop on it
I sinned!!
I regret... I'm depress
For He love me so much
His pain, His tear
Are nothing for Him
For His only concern is on us
His beloved people
His beloved human
That type of pain, that kind of depression
Betrayal, Greed, Unfairness, Death
How can one endure so much? :'(

Jesus...
Your love is upon me
Your love is for everyone
Your crucification
Bring us our salvation
Thank you...
For been there for me
while I'm shedding my tears
It's not too late to change
Because I still have You
A friend...
who will never leave me...
Your sacrifice...
Your agape love...
Your pain...
One can't endure that level of discrimination
But you choose to forgive them
You never say a word of discomfort
You...
You love those who hate you
Blessed those who badmouth you
You...
Jesus...
I love you

Acceptance vs Feeling~~

It's not always true

But yes, while looking at it

You may realize something~~

Human relationship can be so fragile

A good friend of yours may be an enemy of yours the next instance

Sometime, things happened

And sometime the situation is totally unfair

One's word, one's opinion may change your view toward someone

Am I right?

Others are constantly bombarding you 

with the idea that he/she is bad

but really~~

something you do not observe yourself cannot be trusted

even if you do observe

something...

you may still be influence by others

why?

because you're trying to be one of them

you do not want to be belittle my others

but how will you feel?

when that particular person is hurt because of your behavior

every human has feeling

and I truly believe in that

even the most renown criminal has feeling

why keep on hurting that person?

you should do what your feeling tell you to do

and not by the view of others

not just to be accept by others

everyone deserve to be accepted

And everything need to be view from multiple side

Be tolerant~~ but not too much

When you can't forgive and forget

You had manage to steal some happiness away

From both you and the person you're trying to forgive

Forgive and forget may really make you look like and idiot

But what is in for you?

Are you trying to keep this longer?

Anything beneficial?

I don't think so

It's up to you to decide

Your ways of handling your relationship with others

One thing I just want to remind all of you

Your goal~~

Isn't something connected to this world

Oh~~ life~~ enough~~ suffer

As I was flipping and reading through Psalms 1~22,
My tears began to roll slowly down my cheek
I was wondering what I've been doing all this time
Not enough
It's still not enough
There's more to it
There's more
Absolutely more
The sudden depression is so much
That I couldn't control it
I thought life would just go on smoothly
Everything I ever wanted
But it's not
It's hard
When I wanna keep out of sadness,
Of depression, of anger
It came by itself
Trying to seek the negative me out
Oh Father who dwells in heaven,
In your hand shall my soul be rest
Heal my wound
Lighten my heart
Lift my soul
From the bribery this world offer
From all the thing that keep You and me apart
And use me
Use me
From today on
Heal me now
I can't stop the tear,
Father,
I shall hide from everyone,
but not from you,
You know the cause of the tear
And You are the only one capable of healing me
Father,
Free my soul
Let it roams the sky
Freely
Tearlessly
Stop my tear now,
stop it

What can I do? equality?

It's life

It's all about life

How you live it

How you view it

Life is never easy

Nor is it ever hard

See the world from another point

Turn around

Take a breath and you may see

Things you'd never see before

Obstacles are things

One can never avoid

However obstacles are things

One can get over with

It's up to us right?

It's always is

Without the power and the courage

To face obstacles up ahead

We are as good as waiting to be thrash

Just how one can view life?

It vary with each and everyone of us

Perhaps it's meant to be that way

We are of no complain

For who we are

Where we are born

How do we look

Our family background

Our health

Our wealth

Our parents

I'm one of those who believe in equality

Although this goal may seems far

But one day I'm sure

This world can be united as one

Everyone is the same

Of course we can't destroy our own belief and culture

However,

That's the one thing that will make things worth to be done

Human from all around the globe

Of totally different race

Of a variety of language

Of different skin color

We'll stand together

And that's why I dream of becoming an educator

Since I was just a mere little kid

The dreams never parted from me

And now

Taking one step closer to my dreams

I know God has His plan in me

This world

I will change

Bias shall rule no more

With God and education by my side

Even if it's just a little

This dreams must be carry on

A world where everyone is one

Everyone is the same

Equality that will never vanish

Gender bias, racism, discrimination, 

violation of human right,

everything must be destroy

How am I going to achieve this is still a question mark

But I know,

Becoming an educator will certainly

Bring everything a step closer

For now,

I will just pray

And work the best I can

To become a great educator

For one day

I shall have my own student

A generation that will inherit my will

A generation that can continue my job

Bad side of online self-written articles

Mindset... mindset...
How far can you influence us?
such fury such nonsense
I've discover that reading too much articles,
especially love articles online really will influence us
because we believe what is written
we put our mindset into what they say
let what is written manipulate our mind
things written may seems true
but are we aware enough to realize that
everything written is only from a person point of view?
We think what they think
We say what is written
We feel what they feel
then where is ourselves?
are we unable to determine things for ourselves?
get out of it
it's just pure nonsense
the world will never be a happier place
if only we listen to the heart of others
listen to your heart
to your own heart
think exactly your way
and never let what is written online disturb your mind
take for example
"it's very hard to be friend again if confession fail"
it's written all over the net!!!
and human just blindly follow what is written
snap out of it,
it's time to seek out your answer from God
rather than using your own intelligence in solving everything
rather than using what others think to do what you think
clear out your mind,
format it,
and insert new data into it =~=

Every Small Things in Life makes me laugh :-D

We often give in to our negative emotion
And this is bad
I mean bad
We let ourselves to be strangle with negative emotion
which will only in the end bring us no benefit
sometime even causes harm
It's time we snap out of it
Dump away all the negative emotion
Throw away all your negative thought
And let ourselves be blessed upon this land which God had given us
Giving in to your emotion or your feeling is your own fault
Snap out of it
Why would you live a life that's so dull
When you have an option to live it happily everyday?

Every small things in life
Can bring us simple pleasure and joy
This simple pleasure and joy
Is exactly what we need for our life
That's what I learn today
Take sometime
Relax, sit back
and try to recall back the small thing that happened in your life
I still remember
Once I was chase down the street by a stray dog
Oh man!!!
It was so scary
But the excitement that follows bring me joy
When the dog is no longer chasing me
I felt the short taste of victory

And there was once when I was daydreaming
I was walking while carrying some books for the teacher
And I was thinking of some cartoon show
Without realizing it
I ram myself into a wall
I can still laugh at myself when I recall the scenario
Ooh ooh
And there was this very stupid incident
When I was in primary school
I've forgot how old am I that time
It was stupid and disgusting
Just for the sake of protecting my image >.<
I was holding myself from going to the toilet and shit
and when I reach there, finish my business
it's then when I realize there's no any toilet paper around
So~~~~
hehehehe,
I just have to pull up my underwear
and walk out without cleaning it @.@
Sorry, I didn't know how to clean using water that time

I can also feel the simple pleasure of joy
just by simply missing someone
her good and her bad
It's that easy
It's simple
Just think of her and tadahhhh!!!
It's an enjoyment
almost everyday
Ouch,
it would be the best
when I heard that lecturer are not coming in to class
or they'll be coming in late
And been strike when I get doze off in class?
hahaha,
it's not very pleasant
yet there's pleasure in it

Even finishing a verse in the Bible brings me pleasure
At least I read isn't it?
Finishing a prayer too,
because most of the time I would get lazy
but when I bring myself to finish the prayer
the joy is there :-)

Change starts from today
Bring your negative thinking out of your mind
Let this world be a better place for yourself
There's no such thing as you can or cannot do
The only option is if you're willing or not willing to do
Flood yourself with this thought
Every small things can make a difference
No matter how stressful we may be
Just make sure you snap out of it
Smile, because God is smiling by your side
Bring a difference for yourself
Cherish your life more
Live with a smile :-)

As a teacher - to - be

As a teacher - to - be or as a teacher
I cannot promise the next generation
or perhaps the future too much
But I've discover my mission
My very reason to work hard on
As a teacher - to -be
I will change this world
Using education
Regardless of what it is
Physical education, emotion education, spiritual education,
or even history, science subject
I will
and I mean I WILL
change this world using education
That's the very reason why
God had arrange me to be a teacher
God had recognized my dream
HE wanted to help me realize my dream
Help me to achieve my ambition
Help me to gain what I long for

Been a teacher ( actually lecturer * well, almost the same, both are educators )
Is my long running dream since I was small
Since I was still a kid
I was attracted by how the teacher perform in school
I want to be like them
Or even better
Even more capable
I want to change
I do not know how
But I will be patient
I will learn
Learn the way to help the future generation

If there's something call peace
I will seize it
As a future teacher
If there's such power that can be use to change
I will obtain it
It really sound impossible
But please remember
Humanly speaking, it's impossible
But in God, everything is possible
We human are bound by our limit
But we need to know one thing
We human limit knows no boundary

I will from now on
Put my eyes of faith into HE who created me
The God that create
My Almighty Father, Jehovah
Entrusted my life to HIM
Only in HIM
I can obtain the power
To change the next generation
We often heard our teacher or lecturer said that
This world is cruel
So what?
Then let's create a world which no teacher will say that
To prevent more accident
To prevent more harmful act
To prevent more sins
To prevent more unwanted revenge
To prevent war

Still impossible?
Many things in this world really seems to be impossible
But God will surprise us in a way that only HE is possible
Just put our trust in Him
Do our very best
Put in all our effort
As a teacher - to - be
I WILL
CHANGE THIS WORLD USING EDUCATION!!!!

Sky Gazing

sky gazing is more than just sky gazing

it’s something more

a cure, a way for your heart,

skygazing means opening up,

and decontracting,

space-mingling,

dissolving in the infinite.

every changes of the sky

bring in different feeling

each weather have their own personality

but all of them serve the same purposes

that’s to calm down one’s mind

even on rainy day

the rhythm and the tempo of the rain pouring down

when listen in bliss

become a rhyme that soothe your soul

use this infinite panorama of emptiness

as a metaphor for openness and awareness,

release your fixations and preoccupations,

breathe out–and simply let go into it.

an aspect of skygazing is that it arouses a peculiar combination of feelings:

humility and understanding.

It is difficult not to feel a bit humble when staring out into the vastness of space.

Even without knowing about the billions of miles between

Earth and the nearest star, a skygazer can feel the enormity of the heavens.

It is no wonder that so many important religious experiences took place in the desert under the open sky.

early skygazers could not possible imagine the distance between the stars,

and perhaps neither can we,

but neither can we be indifferent to them.

it’s a great way to soothe your feeling and it cause no harm,

just make sure you wouldn’t fall asleep and that’s all

so?

Come skygazing with me :-)

hmmm.... this is probably the main reason I like sky gazing

especially star

True Definition of Love

歌 林 多 前 书 13

13:1        我若能说万人的方言、并天使的话语、却没有爱、我就成了鸣的锣、响的钹一般。

13:2        我若有先知讲道之能、也明白各样的奥秘、各样的知识．而且有全备的信、叫我能够移山、却没有爱、我就算不得甚么。

13:3        我若将所有的赒济穷人、又舍己身叫人焚烧、却没有爱、仍然与我无益。

13:4        爱是恒久忍耐、又有恩慈．爱是不嫉妒．爱是不自夸．不张狂．

13:5        不作害羞的事．不求自己的益处．不轻易发怒．不计算人的恶．

13:6        不喜欢不义．只喜欢真理．

13:7        凡事包容．凡事相信．凡事盼望．凡事忍耐。

13:8        爱是永不止息．先知讲道之能、终必归于无有．说方言之能、终必停止、知识也终必归于无有。

13:9        我们现在所知道的有限、先知所讲的也有限．

13:10     等那完全的来到、这有限的必归于无有了。

13:11     我作孩子的时候、话语像孩子、心思像孩子、意念像孩子．既成了人、就把孩子的事丢弃了。

13:12     我们如今彷彿对着镜子观看、模糊不清．〔模糊不清原文作如同猜谜〕到那时、就要面对面了．我如今所知道的有限．到那时就全知道、如同主知道我一样。

13:13     如今常存的有信、有望、有爱、这三样、其中最大的是爱。

1 Corinthians 13

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I found the definition of love by bible is the greatest one of all, rather than how the world nowadays defines it as infatuation, intimacy or sexual attraction.

Love in the Greek language is expressed by four different words. Only three of these words are used in the Bible.

1. Eros, which is sexual or romantic love.
2. Phileo, which is a brotherly love toward someone we really like.
3. Agape, which is the deepest love, which is based on doing good things for another person.

This love is represented by God's love for us. It is a non-partial, sacrificial love probably best exemplified by God's provision for our rebellion:

"For God so loved (agape) the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

4. Storgay, which is the love of kinfolk. It is a relatively unknown word that is used only twice in scripture and only as a compound word.

Should had known this thing early though, it’s pretty important in forming a relationship, especially one that remain strong in God. Learn about its’ important few days ago, thanks to my special her for sharing it with me.

To achieve love as it is stated in bible is not easy. Will be trying to work hard from now, until that day comes again :-)

Continuous prayer is very much needed

Faith is important

Trust is a must

Truth? Hehe

Things are more than what we think or what we thought
Truth is never enough
That's what I thought few days back
That particular day
Back at home
I was standing outside my veranda
Gazing at the sky as usual >.<
The mood that day was not so good thou
It was around 3 o'clock in the morning
Although it's pretty dark by that time
But the beam of the full moon keeps on lighting the street
And that's when miracle happened
The star...
The star that twinkles in the sky
They line up
Like the shape of that of a smile :-)
with eyes...
and the shape of the mouth that curve upward
It heals me instantly
Because I know
God is there watching and healing me

I spent sometime thinking
Truth and Lie
Hmph...
Like I say, truth is never enough
We as human
Believe what we can get or hear first
We never thought of something more
perhaps we are too lazy to get ourself into more trouble
The thing is
What we believe and trust may not be the real thing
Sometime we just never know the truth
What happened may not seems to be the way it is
What I'm trying to say is that
Never judge a thing when we are not confirm of what really happened
Sometime people just won't tell
Those are people who just don't want others to worry for them
Don't want others to help them
They rather took all the blame
As long as truth doesn't leak out
Hehehe...
Too complicated eh?
Well, truth is never enough
Lying is pretty easy
But when it comes to the truth
Do not mention it
It's harder than you thought

I do not deny this thing
There's still a lot of truth I'm searching for
I know the limitation in searching for truth
But well,
I believe and I trust
As time goes on
Truth will be revealing themselves
One by one
Mmm....
Looks like it's raining tonight
No star no moon
but never mind
it's the same anyway
I can still see her :-)

Looking on this world....

The world is too much a force to be reckoned with
It's such a mysterious place eh?
Like everyone, I live
With too many question and a few answers
There's so many question that is left with no answer
As I progress through adulthood
I find myself facing with many things
Things that are not known to me
They just appear
Enter my world
And make everything so complicated =.=

Looks like this world is not so friendly eh?
It's nice, it's wonderful
Still
Sometimes things are just too much for us to handle
I find myself facing with problems like trust and believe
Find myself unable to cope with incoming obstacles
Find myself upset and disappointed often
Find myself to be hurt
But there's one thing I believe more than anything
Smile BIG and the world will smile alongside you =)

Perhaps,
These are things I have to face
Because God allows them to happen
It's a trial of life
I believe,
Just base on my own opinion
I should not be too obsessed with this world
One word
"GREED"
Destroy everything

31st August 2010
Malaysia 53rd Independent Day
I still remember that very odd day
Changes how this world looks for me
I believe
I need to do something
I need to
I need to change
That very odd day
Brings me another new life

Is everything arranged in this way?
Has it been determined early on everything will happen?
I trust and I believe
It is
It's pre-determined by God in the first place
The only thing now is...
courage...
and effort?
I mean
Without enough courage to believe and move on
with whatsoever coming ahead
I may fail...
And trust without effort is nothing
With trust
there comes effort
Effort to make what I trust becomes real
No effort no gain

I have a lotta catch up to do
Especially my spiritual side
Waste too much of my secondary school life
Pursuing eternal happiness should be my main goal
Hehehe...
How can I achieve this?
Well,
I know what to do :-)

Recipe of happiness
Still on the way
There's much ingredient to be gather
Much cooking need to be done
Much decoration is on it's way
If only I can let everything that troubles my mind to a rest
Let them vanish...
To live a carefree life...
It's impossible haha

Things may not be the may it seems on it's surface
And sometime things will just turn around
good or bad?
well...
decide yourself
Al rite...
Still have story to be read
Haven't finish my Harry Potter yet ar!!
Jia you with my life

Ah yeah,
the moon is amazingly round tonight
Typing while gazing at the moon
Such a wonderful feeling
Will continue to gaze for a little while
Hope the moon will not disappear tonight =)
Because it reminds me of....
her

The 181st Day

Has it been the 181^st day?

The black ink shakes itself

On the very book of a living

Of a journey of a man

As it record down

The path of a fairy tale

Of an adventure of a man

Has it been the 181^st day?

The voyage started

Leaving behind the once lovely shelter

Embark in a world

Of the unknown

Which will forever?

Leave its story of a man

Has it been the 181^st day?

The sweet echoes

Of a fine young girls

In the heart of a man

Who never understand this world

Of its imperfectness

And of its truth

Has it been the 181^st day?

Since the very beginning of the tale

Which carries that of joy

And of scars

Which goes like the cloud

Slowly and steadily

Has it been the 181^st day?

Travelling into the deepest darkness

Trying to find a way

Into the one place

Which holds the light of joy

That can only be found

In faith and of love

Has it been the 181^st day?

The heart holds dear

The little bits of memory

That is carve within

Because it all started

When one eyes met the others

Of the eyes in the heart

Has it been the 181^st day?

The little cuboids

Of alphabets and of screen

Open its way

For the pieces of sweetness

That will accompany the man

Forever in his life

Has it been the 181^st day?

Hopes are accompany by tears

For the sky is not showing any sign

Of a wish strong enough

To make the cloud move

On its calm rhythm

Soothing and relaxing

Has it been the 181^st day?

Of sometime sorrow of sometime joy

Because it’s never consistent

When it comes to the one

Holding the key to one’s happiness

For it will come and go

Never to be ask

Has it been the 181^st day?

The endless tempo last

Its rhyme is never the same

For it cause both curve

Upward and downward

And it’s sometime call an exercise

Of the face muscle

Has it been the 181^st day?

Feeling so strong and so powerful

Where emotion have to bow down

To the great force

Which influence but uncontrollable

Because the heart knew

To the fact and the truth

One cannot judge it

Has it been the 181^st day?

Speaking to the depth

Of one’s inner word

Only the beholder may realize

The fire that never cease

Keeps on burning

Without the will to forfeit

Has it been the 181^st day?

The will try to strive

To prove the right from the wrong

Because it is always our choice

Whether giving up

Is an option to be

Or an option to reject

Has it been the 181^st day?

The heartbeat shows its excitement

Whenever night sky comes

And the stars

Twinkling on its spot

Reminding the only one

That is as beautiful as the scene

Has it been the 181^st day?

The dark night sky accompany one

It’s always the same

Neither rain nor clear sky

Can disturb the gorgeous night sky

That had always show its smile

Upon the one looking on it

Has it been the 181^st day?

One had taught so many

Of this mysterious world

Where God’s love embraces it so much

One may never know

If one may never show up

For the world change

The moment it started

Has it been the 181^st day?

Of various trial and attempt

Although the light may seems dim

But as long as there’s still light

Hope and dream

Shall forever exist

Until the very end

Has it been the 181^st day?

Running along the track that seems never ending

Pursuing what’s seems impossible

But it’s not about we can

Or is it about we cannot

But rather it’s if we are willing

Or it’s if we are not willing

Has it been the 181^st day?

One had been struggling

Through what’s known as life

The heart is starting to boil

Whenever snowdrop onto cheeks

Because one does not deserve this

Because one deserve its’ freedom

Has it been the 181^st day?

Word so familiar is seldom heard again

As it travel around time

Trying to reach its destination

That one day it may reach

Or one day it’ll never reach

As neither seems to be pleasant

Has it been the 181^st day?

The mask is never off

When one show happiness around

One may be sad within

It’s never known

As to when it’ll stop

But believe as you smile big

The world will smile alongside you

Has it been the 181^st day?

Holding firm to what one had said

Believe and you shall be

Because “You are the best”

Short and meaningful

Encouraging and strong

Of what one had said

Has it been the 181^st day?

Countless advice showers

Like small drops of snow

Life is a pile of obstacles

To which one must face

To finally emerges as a victor

Regardless of the result

Has it been the 181^st day?

The beautiful melody sing

Of one strong enough

Melody that dance

Elegantly under the moon

A sound so sweet

It’s almost a lullaby

Has it been the 181^st day?

Waiting has always been a joy

That illuminates the world

Of shadowy darkness

Into the light of trust, hopes and loves

For the biggest one among them is loves

Has it been the 181^st day?

It has been wondering round my mind

As a source of happiness

And of thankfulness

Although some time bitter

At least one does not give in

To one’s own thought

Has it been the 181^st day?

I kept on trusting

Love will always be like that

You will always be there

Kind and lovely

Through the valley of darkness

You'll be waiting
Just at the next stop

Surely there’s the place for me

2010 Copyright Reserved (r)

By Felix Tong Jia Wei

15/11/2010

Facing instead of avoid?

Few days back when I first receive the invitation to attend this talk...
"Love"
Tonight talk... strike me so hard and so deep...
I had a hard time deciding at first...
whether I should attend it or not...
Should I stick with what I believe?
Or should I attend this talk?
It really create fear in me....
I'm asking myself,
face or run?
But in the end...
I choose to face...
It talk about things I long since avoiding...
Gosh....

I have the opportunity to talk one on one with one of their member-in-charge...
and the talk will be kept as a secret
Well, no harm I think...
it's better I spend my time in church than wasting my time...
the talk was really impressive...
and it talk deep into my heart...
The sharing taught me things I don't know,
and most importantly,
the power of God that is working...
Learn many many things...
Although it was quite painful somewhere in the heart...
but at the end...
what is said... is fact...
and I know...
about love and life....

the next step is...
should I or should I not...
do what I believe I should do?

God,
I'll hand this problem to You,
help me to make the best choice and decision...
thanks You

Be grateful of myself

Be grateful with life!!!
This is the thing I know very well but had a hard time doing so~~
Be grateful is one very very simple key to happiness
Be thankful for everything we have right now
Our family, our friend and everything we have
I do not deny that I have desire
And getting rid of unwanted desire isn't as easy as eating pie
I know
I am not grateful enough with my life
I long for more
I long for something that I do not need
And at the same time
Leaving behind those that I really need

Learn to be grateful
We had heard it for so many times but how many of us really do appreciate things around us?
Greediness, is one of the main factor that we can't be grateful,
We want the things that others have
We are never satisfy with what we have,
we want more and more,
Greediness brings to our own despair,
we can never be happy because we are greedy,
we are not grateful of what we already have
I will not deny the fact that I'm greedy
Because of my own greediness,
I fell into depression often,
because I want more,
I want something that doesn't belong to me,
I was thinking of way to get my hand on the "thing"
most of the time and this is totally wrong

I do not realize that I had been ungrateful,
the desire in my heart started taking over me,
I long for it,
God knows the best for me,
I had to believe in Him and be thankful of things around me,
I need to stop been greedy

I have my family that I love so much,
I have friends that accompany me through any hardship,
I have food to eat everyday
I have water to drinks everyday
I have my eyes that let me see
I have ears that let me hear
I have mouth that let me speak
I have feeling that let me feel
What else do I long for more?

I must learn to be grateful
Jesus love me so much
In Him I never hide any secret,
He is my shoulder when I am sad,
He become my sword and my shield when I'm scare,
I must be grateful for he love me

Do not let what your mind say affected what you want to do,
often we will tell ourself "I'm tired, I can't continue"
The more you think like that,
the more it will become reality,
set your mind fresh all the time,
tell yourself I'm capable of more,
do not let what you think or feel influence you,

Sometime people just won't meet your expectation
But be grateful
Because there's a reason for everything
Do not be angry or sad because of others
because it's a waste of time
be grateful with the time you have,
while you are wasting your time angry and sad of others,
other people around the world are struggling so hard to live their life,
time is precious,
you can't be greedy with time,
time wait for no one,
so be grateful,
and live your life to it's fullest,
don't let others let you down,
you are more than what you are capable of,
You are always the best in yourself,
You are always the best in the eye of God
Remember that!!
Be grateful!!!

I'm still learning!!
Can't let things disturb my mood and my life right?
Pray everyday for His glory,
For what he had given us
So be grateful (^o^)

Angry and Depression!!!

God love me, I know that :'(
A sudden vibration,
A sudden light on the screen,
A sudden worry,

I pick up my cellphone which is ringing,
Urging me to answer the call,
I was wondering why this cellphone number will show up again,
after so many years of resting
I press on the green button,
and the conversation started

Not quite a good conversation thou,
I'm not the Felix 3 years back,
I'm not like I was back then,
After the call,
I felt anger boil inside me,
I was really angry, down, depress and dissapointed,
I nearly shed a tear
but I didn't,
instead I let myself calm down,
and pray,
the next thing I open my eyes,
and I pick up the little daily devotion that is always available next to my pillow,
and I tap into the word of God,
I'm okey soon after,
i do not deny the fact that,
I'm angry, really angry,
and somewhat depress of "that person" behaviour,
I won't lend my hand to you,
because I won't be repeating the same mistake again,
I won't do what you want me to do,
I'm not doing thing agaisnt my will,
because God say
"fear not those who can only harm your body but not your soul"

I won't choose to hate you,
I never hate,
every thing is a new beginning,
what happen 3 years back is a history,
I won't hold any grudge,
I will pray for you,
I want you to turn to God,
and give up every thing you are doing now,
which will harm yourself,
I will continue to pray,
and one day,
if God's willing,
I will volunteer to bring you out,
and bring you to the side of our Savior

Anger is not going to get through me,
I choose forgiveness,
I believe that's what God want me to do,
I admit,
My heart is still painful,
is still hurt by your act,
God will heal me,
I believe that,
I know myself very well,
I can't hate you, because Jesus love you

Al rite, let's just leave this thing behind 1st,
I have my test to be worried about tonight,
God,
please heal my soul,
wipe away my anger,
guide me...
I believe in You
and also,
heal me from my illness,
I need to focus on my exam tonight,
thank you God,

I love you

Going Home

Going home going home
I am going home
Quiet like, some still day
I am going home

It's not far, just close by,
through an open door
Work all done, care laid by
never fear no more

Mother's there expecting me
Father's waiting too
Lots of faces gathered there
All the friends I knew

I'm just going home

No more fear No more pain
No more stumbling by the way
No more longing for the day
Going to run no more

Morning star lights the way
Restless dreams all gone
Shadows gone, break of day
real life has begun

There's no break, there's no end
Just living on
Wide awake, with a smile
going on and on

Going home Going home
I am going home
shadows gone break of day
real life has begun

I'm just going home

I had just mention myself conquering the fear of death in my previous blog,

Miraculously this songs came to me today,

Libera is nice choir time of children,

their songs are very meaningful~~

At surface level it means going home,

but when we take a deeper look,

It actually signify something more,

It signify death

Home signify somewhere we return to, home is the place to go,

after a journey, after work, after everything you did for the day, you return home~~

Death is just a door, that will bring us to heaven~~

Shadow signify death, an absence of life, it is a mere reflection of something big~~

"Break of the day" is the beginning of dawn, the beginning of light, it signify hope~~

Humans will eventually die, we will fear of death,

But God had mention clearly in bible,

that we are just sleeping, waiting for the right time to come to wake up again,

And enjoy the glory of God's eternity,

When we die, we will fall into darkness

However, the moment we die,

heaven will break through darkness,

God will claim you from the darkness,

let you rest within His care

May God remove the seed of fear within us

May His glory shine

Amen