The bomb and the pilot

3 people were on a plane.
One said to the pilot,
"I have a glass bottle. What do I do with it?"
The pilot told him to throw it out the window.
The second one asked the same question and the pilot also told him to throw it out the window.
The third one asked the pilot, "I have a bomb. What do I do with it?"
The pilot told him to throw it out the window.
When they landed they met a man crying.
When asked why he was crying, he replied,
"Because I got hit in the head with a glass bottle.
They met a woman who was crying for the same reason.
Then the met a man laughing.
They asked him why he was laughing and he replied,
"Because I walked by a building and farted.
Then the building blew up.

A Religious Hunter

A man was out hunting.
He just happened to be hunting bears.
As he trudged through the forest looking for the beasts,
he came upon a large and steep hill.
Thinking that perhaps there would be bear on the other side of the hill,
he climbed up the steep incline and,
just as he was pulling himself up over the last outcropping of rocks,
a huge bear met him nose to nose.
The bear roared fiercely.
The man was so scared that he lost his balance and fell down the hill with the bear not far behind.
As he tumbled down the hill, the man lost his gun.
When he finally stopped at the bottom,
he found that he had a broken leg.
Escape was impossible and so the man,
who had never been particularly religious (in fact this just happened to be a Sunday morning),
prayed, "God, if you will make this bear a Christian I will be happy with whatever lot you give me for the rest of my life."
The  bear was no more than three feet away from the man when it stopped dead in its tracks...
looked up to the heavens  quizzically...
and then fell to its knees and prayed in a loud voice,
"O Lord, bless this food of which I am about to partake."